Healthy, Happy, and Healing

I am back!!

Posted on: May 16, 2009

😀

i have been gone for QUITE some time and i wanted to say that i am back and missed you all!! (cricket, cricket)…i am very upset to admit that i have been having trouble with my anorexia (somewhat) and binge eating (mostly) but i have decided firmly that i do not want do be eating disordered!! i wanna be an intuitive eater! my decision all started when i started reading beadies blog again (HI BEADIE 😀 ) i figured if she can do it then i sure as heck can! not that it is easy at all! it is one of the most hard hardships to go through in a lifetime. i do know alcoholism and drugs are hard to get over but with food you cant stop eating and LIVE. you have to find peace and balance.

       i really am done with eating disorders. with anorexia, bulimia (any form) and binge eating. they will no longer be allowed into my life. (go on, SHOO!) and i am rereading my fit from within and intuitive eating (my MOST helpful and favorite)….

   i wanted to share some writing that is 100% from my heart….

                   “the human body is a sacred place. deserving not only to be treated with dignity and respect but not to be poisoned with harmful substance that damages the mind as well as the body. this includes anything numbing you from feeling anything you would rather not feel or deal with. (drugs, alcohol, sex, food <—in excess and unnecessary amounts, exc) i have come to the conclusion i have experienced the WHOLE spectrum of eating disorders. i have wasted almost 6 years of my life obsessing about what others think, how skinny i can be, looks, exc..i am done. done with it all. i would like to lose ed and begin my life. it will be hard at first but as anything in life practice makes improvement. intuitive eating is the place i can start with. i will need alot of support on this journey but the long hard road will be worth it. life is not a competition. who can get the skinniest and sickest? get out of the fucking game! the prize is depression and eventually death. now stop, and fill your life with beautiful moments.”

 that make me feel amazing. it flowed from my heart. i have not had anybody to talk to about anything (parents wont pay for dietitian or phycotherapist anymore, or treatment.) so yes, i am starting this journey by myself and with the help of you guys and god. life is not about the competition, its about the ride. i am officially checked out of this competition and my life will begin now.

a new beginning by joey alaiza.

photo courtesy of joeyalaiza

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1 Response to "I am back!!"

Welcome back , Lexi!

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